struggling with the basics

As a witch who is still pretty early on in her craft, I am still going through some growing pains when it comes to the basics. In fact I still struggle, and I am still looking for ways to practice meditation and visualization that are easy for my brain to handle but still effective in their intended purpose.

So let’s talk first about meditation. Meditation is the idea of clearing ones mind, and focusing, usually on your breath — no this isn’t a technical definition, but what it means to me. As someone who struggles with anxiety, my mind has a difficult time doing this. I also have chronic body pain, so sitting there in what we would think of as a meditative position just isn’t possible for me for long periods of time.

First things first: the position. It took a while but I finally let go of the expectations I had in regards to how one “should” meditate. It’s all about your mind, and you need your body to be comfortable to do that. I found a long meditation pillow that sits in front of my altar so I can lay down. Sometimes, that’s even difficult, and I find myself meditation in bed. AND THAT”S OKAY.

Now, as I am trying to develop my psychic and medium abilities, there is the sitting in the power meditation. I leave the comfort of my room to sit in my kitchen chair. It’s not the most comfortable, but it helps me to plant my feet, and sit straight up. I light a candle sometimes, but I simply want to make sure I am engaging that meditation the way its intended. But for my other meditation practice, where I try to connect with my spirit guides, ease anxiety and just practice mindfulness, I am usually laying bed. There are other practices I am trying to build to, such as hedge riding and astral projection, and I feel as though my efforts are setting me with a good foundation.

Next is easing my mind. My anxiety makes it so difficult to calm my mind. I practice acknowledging my thoughts, and then releasing them. But reaching a meditative state isn’t always in the cards for me. I find consistent practice does really help. Also, utilizing binaural beats and guided meditations also help. There was an expectation I had put on myself that “real meditation” meant not using any of these tools, and that is a load of bananas.

I recently started including dance meditation a few times a week. A reading I had received emphasized the importance of movement for me, especially in my practice, and, despite feeling rather silly at first, I have found myself getting lost in the rhythmic movements.

Onto the visualizing part; I am sure if you have spent any amount of time on WitchTok or SpiritualTok, you will have heard of aphantasia, or the inability to voluntarily create an image in your mind’s eye. It took a long time for me to figure out that it was what I was struggling with. But it is, without a doubt. So, what do I do, if visualization is such an important aspect of practice?

As a writer, I describe what I want to visualize in my head. I am even starting to write out a script before hand, to help me. Because when you struggle with aphantasia, you understand the concepts of what you’re trying to visualize, you simply can’t create that mental image. Or at least, that’s what it’s like for me. Sometimes I can get faint outlines of what I am trying to visualize, but at this point I focus more on the description.

I am also clairaudient, so I am able to imagine the noise that I would associate with something. For example, when imagining my protective bubble of light, I imagine the sound of crackling fireworks as the light rains down around me. Or when I am hardening my protective shell, I imagine the sound of metallic doors clinging shut, as in a sci-fi movie. These methods work for me, and it’s all about finding what works best for you.

These are things that I am working on, and developing everyday. I am sure they will continue to grow and evolve along with my practice. I hope this helps, and if you find yourself struggling with these things, please reach out to me! I would love to connect with others who have a hard time with these practices that are considered “the basics.”

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